I’m getting married this year. Late November, by the seaside, in the warmth of the afternoon sun.
I was never one of those girls who daydreamed about her future wedding, to some future prince charming, in some future time. I often wondered if the whole ordeal was really for me. With two sisters, my father would often hint in the not-so-subtle way fathers often have, that he would be happy if I ran away to get married. It’s not that I didn’t believe in marriage but that I just felt like I was too independent, too much my own person to ever buy in to the whole thing.
But here I am. Bridal magazines piling up, photographers to meet and caterers to organise. It’s not me and yet it is. I’m so excited to be marrying FLB (future life bitch – our not-so-sweet alternative names for future husband and wife) but the whole exacerbated ordeal of getting hitched seems, I guess, old.
The original plan was something super simple. Relaxed. Fun. No bridal party, no three-hour photo session, no ’seating plans’, no long-winded stuffy speeches and definitely no ‘first dance’. Just us, our friends and family, food, wine and of course, music. It was all so easy six months ago when Nov 08 seemed like light-years away. Now the “how’s the wedding planning” question gets thrown in at every social and family gathering and suddenly it just doesn’t seem so simple anymore. I can’t quite figure out how or why it suddenly got so complicated. Or perhaps it’s just that it was never simple in the first place.
FLB is all for running away. Thailand is the favourite suggestion (it’s where we got engaged). Somedays I think it is a great idea, after all getting married is really just about him and I. But then, I’m torn. What about sharing it all with our family and friends? What about dancing the night away with bare-feet, white dress hitched up, sand crunching on the wooden floorboards of my parents house? What about laughing with everyone about how FLB and I both looked terrified standing up there on the headland? What about my Grandma seeing her first grandchild get married? What about, what about all of those little things, those little moments, memories collectively made and jointly shared? What about them?
Tomorrow I’m going to Melbourne with my sisters and mum to look for wedding dresses. I don’t really know what I want, just that it needs to be versatile. Workable for an Australian beach or a Thai Island, just in case.
